Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i think im in europe. pls send help
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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