Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
