No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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