i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Drake has all the answers
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
