She said her name was "party"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
