So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize