So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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