I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
