i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
