Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
