Your mouth is God's brothel.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
