Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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