i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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