its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize