Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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