Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
