Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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