well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
