So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
