just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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