you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize