He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
