just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
