Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
