Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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