okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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