we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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