Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
