Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
