good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
