five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
