You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
