Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
