I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
