Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
