Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
