so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
