bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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