Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
