im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
