Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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