I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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