I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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