so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
