how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
