WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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