at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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