Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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