You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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