brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
