I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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