I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
