ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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