dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
