I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
