This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am naked and annoyed.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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