help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
