He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
