I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Say something about gay babies.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize