yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
